The other side.

I m completely dumbfounded . I just dont get it . Why am I so into games ? Why am I so overly serious when it comes to games ? Why cant I get rid of that attitude of being ignorant towards those important stones in my life , or to say a normal person's life ? Why cant I even being bothered with getting lousy grades ? Why ? Why do I even have this so called minor teenage problems in the 1st place ? I wish I knew the answer.

I m definitely not at my limit right now , but I m a little afraid . Using microeconomics to keep me afloat from my gaming thoughts. But I m really scared. Its working , but not in the way I think it should .

Yesterday , touching the keyboard at night led me into 8 hours of gaming , till 4 am in the morning. I dont know why . I cant seem to stop . Played 240 rounds in 1 night . The hunger is devouring me from inside. And so it began again , my routine last sem , playing games into the wee hours of dawn and sleeping in classes . Although I did studied more, I played more as well .
Whenever i think of it , i felt totally wrong and lost . Although i can just feel happy about it , i know i m not going to be ok in the long run . Stopping my gaming is impossible either , its gonna add problems instead of solvin them . To most of u all , ^-^ gaming sounds like enjoyment , and only effects the weak minded and people with weak will power like me . But when I crave for the games , adrenalin is only a small portion of the enjoyment , what I enjoy most is the company of friends from all around the world =x . Au , Cn , Sg , Indo , Ph , US , u named it =x . I really have a weak weak will power =x . Low self esteem lol.