sayonara , roku.

i m quite ashamed of myself , for not being able to think in the same channel as the group does. not being able to act like the rest of group & for not taking the effort to understand them. and not doing things as best i could for the group's interest.

staying passive all the time, i wondered if observing would at least give me the slightest hint in how to be one with the group. but it didnt help much , really.

i wasnt like this during foundation. but ever since my degree started, during my hangouts with the group i was starting to feel uncomfortable. i had to mask a smiley face, be pretentious & treat it like a picnic. rather then staying emo all the time , i tell myself to be happy , to be grateful because a hangout is a place to have fun. i kept telling myself that.

in the past i 'd do whatever it takes to at least be a worthy "sixer". there were times i waited, i gave time time. i tell myself that everythings gonna be okay. but there was something in me that was building up. i was worried for some reason.
it made me uncomfortable.
i was choking.

i think , its about time.

i should quit being a 'sixer'

Please let me out of this cage.

Ron-ron wants to fly.



<3 kiss the foundation times ~ goodbye <3