Mixed Emotions , My Way

Whenever I opened up and looked at this page, it always reflected back on myself. I found myself typing immature things , much like a small kid's. But thats not the point. I started blogging last sem , and i had to admit that this sem brings me the most emotions i could ever felt in my life. It gave me tons of experiences, and taught me in many ways (whether right or wrong). =)

Anywayx , The point here is that my passion for blogging is fading away. I had always been an active blogger, pouring my feelings and thoughts into the blog. But I found myself looking at a totally different view now. Not that I dont have the time to blog , but i find it pointless, meaningless to continue this act.

I felt that it is meaningless for other people to read my blog , listen to the songs in here and updating themselves for whatever they thought are happening in my life. After all , to me, blogging tends to be 1 sided, and it definitely didnt help me in opening up my mind & it narrows the way i see things. Words arent everything after all ,arent they =p ?

So what I m trying to say is, if you , my dear readers felt bored ,instead of reading my blog,
feel free to
Give me a call 012-672 6827 .
We can go yum cha & do many things more and till then ,i ll update u with whats really going on in my life.
Life is definitely more interesting if its always unperdictable and full with suprises =p.
I'd be lookin foward to it xD !

No, I m not turning back.

there are some stuff which i dont know how to explain. more to like i dont want to explain.

As far as friendship is concerned and i consider u all as really real good friends.
& i will never abandon any of my friends , ever , and i will always support u guys
but there are some exclusions, which is indeed serious.

then if that happens , i wont be able to join u guys, but my heart will be together with u all
where ever u all goes

i m not being emo , i am already very calm , just that in life there are decisions to be made

i dont wanna shift blames and see any 1 quarrel,and be troubled by my problem
but things will get a lil heated up after finals.

till that time, nothing will change my mind, if i had made that decisions, then means i already carefully consider it , ready to let it go.

pls understand that. So for now , i d try my best to put on a nice mask.

=)

Not saying anything,
Not looking back ,
Not feeling sad for the past ,
Not feeling sry,
A change of mind,
A change of heart ,
In order to move forward .

Sky =) Skyyyyyyyy =)

I m loving myself a little bit more, day by day .
Think positive , a little , dont hate myself anymore.
Its weird, when you love yourself, the feeling of self pity, and sad is GonE .
Its so automatic. It helped me to open my locked up mind.
I m relieved by alot now. I loveeeee myselfff.
I ll never put some 1 else as the center of my life again.
Not because i m afraid of the pain, but because , if i do that, i will end up hurting myself real bad.
And i dont want to hurt myself becoz i love myself. I need to start taking care of myself , and i wanna touch the SKY.
Finals in 2 more weeks. OVercame the psychological barrier, Now its physical preparation.
The real preparation Begins !!!! As from today onwards , I d look forward to another day and i promised myself , never to look back at the things which i reGRETeD.
Why choose to suffer, when everything in this world is in your hands? Everything starts from 100 %. If it goes down , means You need to get that lost %back , and it starts from accepting yourself, who you are , and what wrong you did =) .
I m not pretending . =) .This is real , and this is what i felt.
For micro , if u guys who read this , want to clarify some stuff, I'd try my best to help . Dont worry about asking silly stuff or waste time or what ever, if i can touch the sky , i ll drag u guys up too =).

Bubyex , Trolak =)

Hm. Nice camp with an unexpected turn of events. It was boring on the first day, but fun on the next. Air conditioned room , heater shower, TV, medium grade fluffy beds, and soft + warm blankets. The food there was 10 x better then Mama's Kitchen. Makes sense , after all we are in a resort. At 1 point, Steven was saying that HELP wants to buy our heart by giving us all these surpluses LOL. That makes the camp.
Now about me. If I say that after this camp , I had already instil the qualities of a leader , I'd be a fcking lier. However , it aint meaning I aint gaining anything at all.
I stayed there for 2.5 days. So , 2.5 days worth of experience. But as far as I m concerned , I m still the old me .
1. I learned that planning for a goal ISNT good enough. You have to plan for the miscalculations and other problems which will arise as well . And always be calm , and observe more, to deduce the best solution.
2. The camp gave me a boost to my endurance towards annoying pests, and also reminiscing the last time I went intothe jungle.
3. I made new friends. To begin with, I was in Emma's group. And so I made friend's with Emma, Iris, Rajeb , Sherwan , and 1 more girl , short hair and Short, she sprained her leg, and i forgot to ask her name . .. ( so i called her Satan Shirt) because her shirt says something about Satan. That girl is in Micro class.. have to ask by monday._.
4. And then , then .. let me think. Ah ! I know. I m still immature yet. Sorry for that._. But in my state now, I m mentally unprepared for emotionally things. I cant say i ll just push it aside, because its totally imposible and i D be lying again, but but but I'd be calm and take it as easy as possible.
5 aND the last thing, prob the most precious souvenir , I'd ever get from this camp.
"Never live in the Glory of your Past . If you do that, you are already DeaD."

My Frontier t.t

I live in a world full with desires. I am sure we all do. Just by having desire itself , we are able to move on , motivate ourselves , reassure and even change our paths. I exists too ,because of this so-called desire. I vividly recalled, last sem , when I created my first facebook account. I was saying that I m still finding my purpose in this world and bla bla bla. What crap lolx.

Recently I keep seeing things in a diff way , and I cant stop pondering. I came into this world with a 0 . And Like a graph , i d never see the maximum of it. I onli know that i start with a 0, rite from the bottom. So rite now , my purpose is to try and live my life to the fullest, so that my graph will be a happy one =)

wtf .. la

I knew it . I knew something was wrong. Finals start from Cost of Production? Are u kiddin me ? After all cost of production & Markets Means got 2 CHApters onli for Finals. After 5 hours of trying, i barely managed the first 12 pages. I know. U wanna kill me in AC's FC's and MC's ? But I am not afraid nor intimidated . I wont lose to ur fcking paper. I wont get owned that easily. Just wait knn. Time's on my side.

Tenshin ~

I wonder if theres some 1 watching over me. I'm feeling hopeless again. I know that I m thinking too much again, but thats just me. Sigh . Cant wait for finals to be over. I'd be looking forward to it. No doubt. Till then , i Have to bear the pains of waiting.
I m unable to take care of myself, yet I think of other peoples. And I cant help much. If i say I m dissapointed in myself, that would be a lie, because originally I dont even give a damn. But I dont see I'm totally passive either. I m in the shades of gray.
I m being confused, because I m cant weigh my problems ; the way I see them and also the problem itself. So frusfrating at times. Many people keep telling me , do what you are suppose to do , but I find that statement so vague. If they were to specify the advise , it would base all the way down to feelings of sympathy and care.
So does that mean, i should say , thankyou for your care, and still ponder about my unsolved problems ?
Nothing in this world seems concrete. I dont even know where I m standing on. Time changes things quickly, unexpectedly and its happening as I type. Still so undecisive . Still immature.
Still unchanged. Is this what it feels to be young ?
I pray and hope that the angel which is watching over me guides me to the side where I truly belong. Dont desert me yet, because I need you. So , lend me your will and strength , and place me under your blessings. In return , I'd be your angel next time =).

Do yoU ?

Do You haVe What It takES To be a Ronald?
(open to all kinds of people)
As the title suggests , the conditions are as BeloW :

a) Postpone your assignments to the last day before deaDLinE.
b) Sleeps at minimum 3.30 am every day.
c) Eating irregularly, sometimes one meal a day, or brunch during dinnertime, and so forth.
d) Refrain from talking to anyone you see.
e) Listening to a particular song 30-40 times in a row.

Venue : AnywherE
Time Limit : 7 days = 1 week
Here comes the rewards for those who succeed :
1st prize : RM 100 . Plus , Transport from Ronald , Free 1 month.
2nd prize : RM 50 bucks.
3rd prize : 1 Starbucks / Dunkin Donuts worth RM 13.
Consolation Prize ! : Warbook 10 million. LOL.

Remember ! Its 1st come 1st serve basis !
I think thats all la. Haha , if u are looking for some challenge then can come try. Which I 'd doubt any 1 will HAHA.

oO ~ Lyric !

IRYU OST AESTHETIC LYRICS

Longing for you day and in dream

I'm hoping you are here and leading my way

You steers my road anytime I need

If you walk away, I will follow you

Trying my life

With your sacred gifts you gave to me

I won’t vain and succeed it as your precious soul

Holding your hand

And I'm walking through the all of the world

Carrying your wish like the Venus in the dim sky

How ironic =x

Come to think of it , I spent 3 years playing GunbounD. Yep. This game had me stuck on to it for 3 years. My friends all have moved on to other games , but I m still drawn to it. The game itself is more like a place where I can relax , and enjoy my pace. When I experienced Gunbound for the first time, it formed a bond between the both of us. A bond born from the heart =). It became my remedy when I m lonely, It cheered me up when I am down , so much like a reliable friend. A friend which reflects on myself deeply .

No matter how much I'think , its 3 years, around 1000 days . On count :P . I played a lot less , probably because I am at 90% .Learned the in & outs ,played with all kinds of ranks & peoples. Now, I'd login occasionally to greet the friends I have made online , and spend some of my time with them.

The funny thing is , I never get bored . When I m playing gb , the things around me became oblivious. I got so deep , so absorbed into that world of mine that I 'd wished that time was frozen there and it could last forever .Anyways , 3 years =S . If it was a subject, I guess I would obtain a degree in Gunbound already . But this thing :P is the first which I've ever put my entire soul & concentration in it. And i Didnt regret any single bit . Even though it slowed me down for 3 years =).

Now as I look back , my past has became a memory that is engraved in my mind. The memories of this game is one that I will cherish and never forget , as long as I live.