lost for a moment.

I had been pondering bottomlessly for the past 3 days and 2 nights. If I am wiser , all of these wouldnt have had happened ...

Case 1 - Mr Wan Fang.
I had been turning down your requests for a group study . Kept you waiting ever since week 3 , and worst , I cant help you at all before mid term. I chose, to prioritize some other things which in the end I felt I failed miserably at doing so either. I m at guilt. And you still treat me as if nothing happened. . . I dont have any excuses for myself. Its okay if you hate me man.

I took your trust for granted. I caused you to fail . I felt that I m the one to be blamed. I 'm ashamed of myself.

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Case 2 - Sis
A sis I would always look up to , a capable person with resolute willpower. Ur always carrying all the burden by yourself . I m not holding any grudge here, but I found myself unable to keep up with your pace and way of doing things. I just cant . Most probably, I m too stupid to catch up and assist in the group work . I felt left out in doing the assignment and essentially, useless. Tommorow is the deadline for Mkting assignment. I still havent dare to ask anything because I dont know whats going on and how much work every 1 has compiled. Yesterday night , waited till 11 pm for a file but slept in front of the laptop. I felt like trash. I think I m not fit to be your suboordinate. Its too painful for me if things continue to go on like that.

I took your expectations for granted. I failed you. I m sorry >_<

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Case 3 - Seng Hong , Felicia , Yong Jie
My dear macro group members are as, above. Due to my ignorance & carefree atitude, I failed to plan properly and that caused disarray during preparing the assignment. Although the presentation was completed in the last minute , I made every 1 felt uneasy and uncomfortable. It generated waves of disatisfaction and its not what I really want. I will take responsibility for this.

I took your time, energy & devotion for granted. For that , I apologize. I wont let that happen , ever again.

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Case 4
Someone once told me , that doing well in my course will enable me to graduate faster , and bring my parents happiness. If I failed in my subjects I will use more of my parents' money for education, therefore wasting their money . I used to think like that , too .

But I see it now , that failing in my course isnt about wasting their $$$. Its about wasting their LovE. Sometimes, somethings are so pure and beautiful in this world that blind ppl like me cant even see them. Even though its right in front of my eyes.

I've taken love for granted . I will remember this forever. Lov3 ya , M & D.

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Case 5 - mySelF
I used to think exams are everything. Slacking off in class, were my relaxing days & also , the times when I spoilt myself to the max.

The test of the majority lies in its minority.

I learnt today , that the course itself is a test. From the moment I enrolled, every single day is the beginning of a new test. Thus, understanding the materials thought in class is as important as sitting for the finals. If I only study for the exams, I wont get much satisfaction from learning.

I gotta be more passionate in my studies. Thank you , to a person who taught me the meaning of the word embrace.

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bah... i wanna sleep liaox. tired

even i say i wanna sleep , i cant =/ . . had to wait for that some 1 to patch up the remaining assignment. . waiting and waitin . . cant sleep , cant sleep .

~

3 types of secrets :

1. Secrets, that you hide at the bottom of your heart because you dont want it to be mentioned

2. Secrets, that you cant say even if you want to

3. Secrets, that you hope someone asks about even though you're hiding it

I emo ad. I had enough . I call it quits.

my mid term is like shiet

reality bites

i got mocked


i flunked it

it made me realised my position

time for a change

to get my self-esteem back.

(o.O)

In this few days , I would like to

&

while

o.O

know whats it felt like to be undescribed by words ?

r a n d o m

the sky ? nah.


hD ? nah.


Sundae ? Yes sir !!

(=_=)

(=.=) (+_+) (a_a) (c_c) (x_x) (T_T) (n_n) (!_!) (~_~) (^_^)
($_$) (0_0) (z_z) t(^.^)t (>_<) (>.<) (u_u) (o_O) (n_N) (z_Z)

Farkity FARking FARK !!! I accidently scratched my head and back when bathin .. I M NEVER gonna KEEP long nails anymore =(

Looks like Phase 1 failed miserably. 2/3 rd of it is gone. Perhaps i should implement a controlling Marks Ceiling , then i wont laze around anymore because its either fail or full.

I dont know why , but i m vv dissapointed with myself. It made me go into solitude , far deeper then before. My judgement became bad , and my will weakening. Its even harder for me to speak and express myself now. My head feels like exploding.

I wanna shout & scream , but i cant even do that . I feel weak. Perhaps , u guys might just think that I choose to feel weak.

Today mum went to Brunei. Before , she would always grumble on my carefreeness , and that i m always a lazy and irresponsible boy. She would be there for 2 weeks ,taking care of dad. I miss her home cooked food even though its 1 day.

Its 8.44 pm rite now. I m still lazing around. As i write this , i wanna gather some courage and go to bath and then open the stats book . The norm me would just throw the book aside and start playing Rohan Online.

I gotta tell myself to not be undecisive as nuna. If not, i cant move on in my studies. I need to go bath rite now. I ll make a promise to myself. The next entry to this blog will be when i finished studying my stats. I swear , with my life.