- ヌ o n -

Hey hey ! This 1 is for you =) !

2011-10-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

Reflection

2011-10-29T21:30:00.001-07:00

Something I noticed about myself.

After going through certain experiences in dealing with love & people, you can be sure i'll never be quite the same boy again :D !

If the things i want to do cannot be understood by other people , is okay. Sometimes its better that way :D

i m not waiting, because i know.. time is precious =/

A New Life , A New Direction.

2011-10-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

A few months back, I was nowhere in my life.
I was so lost , I almost gave up on myself.

Then I took a part time baking course in MIB.

And now, I am back in class, studying for a 2 year diploma baking course.

I met many new friends, and most of them were helpful & kind.

The classes were interesting, so they didnt bore me at all. In fact, I find it easier for me to pick up what the lecturer is saying because of the little experiences I gained fromworking not too long ago.

The dots seemed to connect somehow.

And then .. I met this girl.. in my class.

Silly , boastful , little gurl.'

I think I m in love with her .

Wednesday , 2 March 2011

2011-03-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

Its 2.26 am. Finished Dota-ing Session with DJ Solo Haze & his other 2 friends. Won 5 , lost 1. Sat next to him and notice hes from China. Oh well. Mum's coming back from Brunei tomorrow.

Listening to hiroyuki-san 's Yozora really lifted my spirits up. I m somewhat unable to sleep. Restless. Nervous. Oh. The song's stopped. *hits the replay button again* x 20

2.42 am.

Good Ronald : Cant sleep ar. Go wash clothes lar. Do it. Tmr ur mum wont have to do so many house chores.

Bad Ronald : Lazy la. Tmr only do la. Tmr still got time. Now tired.. wanna chill on bed.

Which side to choose ?

Ronald says : Looks like I will have to side on good .. not because good always win .. but because i m a sozai

And so u are.. really are. =x

2011-02-08T06:13:00.000-08:00

hurt. hurt. hurt.

Prob the most emo post of all.

I m standing on this dark floor, facing the dark wall.
Above me is a dark ceiling and above the ceiling are dark skies with no light whatsoever.

The only light i have is my own life source.

My motto rite now : If you want to play a game called life, make sure you play to win. Else, dont join. Because your life will always be meaningless and you are as good as dead.

Cast away my dark past.
Cast away everything.
Let the tears of tonight
Wash away
And make the day
A better tommorow.

2010-11-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

is my life a dream ?
or was it just a lie ;)

the past haunting, the past haunting.
eating up my souls.
slowly.

wishing.
a future.
with less regrets ? "p

but now
without purpose
without goals

wandering , wandering
wasting my life away

goin with the flow
its an endless cycle

i love myself on the outside.
but i hate myself on the inside

im not that strong type of person, just stubborn and short sighted, less wise at times.
i know i m useless. yet i have so many wonderful & caring friends. and my mum still treats me as her son.
yet i m not being productive , not doing my responsibilities.
i know i m useless...

i cant even be honest with myself..
i m typing , and i m suppose to feel totally sad.
but some part of me resists, telling myself to be happy instead.
happy times flashed ,forcing me to drive away the sadness.

i m afraid of many things. and have very little guts.
i kept running away from issues.

i dont even know whats right or wrong anymore.

its sad.. but i cant really do anything about it.

in the end.. i m just a useless junk...

useless junk.

.02

2010-03-24T05:03:00.001-07:00

was driving home , 5.31 pm today.

which came first? the egg or the chicken ..

pondered about it for a good 7 minutes ( stuck in jam + radioo)

and finally realized that the answer depends on which egg and which chicken the question is refering to.

diff eggs , diff time zone. diff chics, diff time zone.

ahh.. silly question.
~
be back to office after finishing my porridge. lotsa hmework to do. =/

it starts now

2010-03-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

i m a little nervous .

my boss's left to aus yesterday .

i m alone for a week.

will i be able to hold his post, gave his orders and ensure the operation goes smoothly ?

well , i cant afford for things to go wrong.

with pressures mounting and crazy burdens strapped on to my shoulders...

i shall be the best clerk and assistant that i can be.

worry not , dear boss =/

i ll do it , without fail

sayonara , roku.

2010-02-02T03:13:00.000-08:00

i m quite ashamed of myself , for not being able to think in the same channel as the group does. not being able to act like the rest of group & for not taking the effort to understand them. and not doing things as best i could for the group's interest.

staying passive all the time, i wondered if observing would at least give me the slightest hint in how to be one with the group. but it didnt help much , really.

i wasnt like this during foundation. but ever since my degree started, during my hangouts with the group i was starting to feel uncomfortable. i had to mask a smiley face, be pretentious & treat it like a picnic. rather then staying emo all the time , i tell myself to be happy , to be grateful because a hangout is a place to have fun. i kept telling myself that.

in the past i 'd do whatever it takes to at least be a worthy "sixer". there were times i waited, i gave time time. i tell myself that everythings gonna be okay. but there was something in me that was building up. i was worried for some reason.
it made me uncomfortable.
i was choking.

i think , its about time.

i should quit being a 'sixer'

Please let me out of this cage.

Ron-ron wants to fly.

<3 kiss the foundation times ~ goodbye <3

2010-01-25T06:19:00.000-08:00

dont walk in front of me
because i wont follow

dont walk behind me
because i wont lead

walk with me,
try

because friendships should be like honey stars
sweet to perfection

but then i realized
not always.

and i start to wonder
where did i gone wrong

when all i've done is to follow my blood
trying to be myself

i feel distanced
by the ones i really cared

my so called tomodachis
isnt really there

i thought carefully
and pondered

as if it was a dream
made of chocolate sundae ice cream

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

its not easy to find an emo breeze,
one with a ghostly howl,
carrying the scent of a nearby rain,
dark clouds conquering the sky's domain.

its not easy to find a perfect sky
one blue so deep and bright,
carrying a sense of tranquility,
with seagulls & swallows in sight.

its not easy to find the perfect night,
one warm , quiet and starry,
carrying a mood of solitude,
damn that was lovely.

yet no perfection's so hard to find,
as of that which i extend,
and which i hope you will ever treasure
none other then to simply be your friend.

because the world is full of people
who will laughingly pretend
but when its said and done
consider yourself lucky you've gt a friend.

and yes , i m grateful for that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i dont know if i will be able to trust again , after knowing about the lies that was speared in between.

till then , i ll just let my thoughts dance upon the wind.

dont know which direction i m heading, and where ive been isnt much to speak of.

flying a kite made of glass & paper thread, hoping it would go aloft.

2010

2010-01-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

new year resolutions :

1. focus more on actions that has big impacts on my life , rather then actions that will just keep me busy.

2. to have a strong bias for action, and now, rather then tommorow.

3. to be able to laugh at myself and the world more.

To be able to push myself , to be able to focus on my job and to feel happiness for the very first time is a luxury i have not had for many years.

I have grown resilient , and i must move , plan things ahead with greater resolve and not spend time wasting away mourning on yesterday's sorrows and misfortunes.

The time has come, to shed off old skins and habits ,in order to become a better person, a better human being.

Now go , and live 2010.

A blessed and gorgeous year is awaiting, ronald !! :O

2009-12-23T03:19:00.000-08:00

i m a little depressed =x

..........

.........

........

.........

knowing that i'd never be able to find her again.

2009-11-04T03:03:00.001-08:00

ron is walking his own path =]

2009-10-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

Witch Doctor

Vol'Jin is a risk-taker. Anyone who has ever crossed paths with him can tell you that. As a voodoo priest, you need a certain degree of it. It's too bad he never learned the value of discretion. Vol'Jin's experiments in jungle magic yielded brilliant results- the ability to mend wounds, casks filled with paralyzing combinations of herbs that could scatter for miles, and even a curse capable of stripping the life force from a living being. Of course, no amount of power gained goes without notice. As Vol'Jin's experiments became more and more unstable and destructive, the Lich King made his move.

*looks at da picture and vivid memories came flashing* *smiles*

~

2009-10-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

mourning's over.

an eventful week it was .

i 'm tired as hell.

working towards a gracious winter.

does it even exist ? such silly thinking, i know.

some1 once said , you cant repay your parents in this life.

even my parents said that too.

if i put myself in their shoes a little , i might understand that . possibly because they had many commitments & priorities in their own life , and their parents understand & feel happy for them. get involved with the society, go out and explore the world , experience and learn things, good.
and because their parents are happy that their children are growing up & the children felt happy too.

even my parents said that too. they wanted me to see the world, learn stuffs etc etc.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is me .

1. i believe, when my parents give birth to me.. its because they love each other .

2. the day i was born , a contract was made. the deal wasnt to be able to do the right things in their eyes, or give them all the money in the world , or living according to societal standards, or find a life of my own.

i strongly feel that i m obliged to stay by their side . i always thought of my parents as this..why do u give me all this freedom and chance to live such different lives ? why wouldnt u make me a slave from the start... i would rather , and happily work for you forever .. but u had to let me make all the decisions by myself , knowing i am young ,unwise& immature at the point of time. i made lots of mistakes and u werent exactly happy. u were dissapointed with me, i know.

u made me go to tuition like other parents would. but i wouldnt produce out the happiest desired results . u encouraged me to study hard, and went on about your lecture on how papers could make a difference in life. but i dont want all these. life is not just about studying and working.. i just wanted to spend more time with you. just 3 of us together. but work took you away from me.

i grow up frusfrated , and when frusfration builds up , it changes a person. i turned to my friends to seek comfort, and that distanced away me from you. i became rebellious in my teens, & became a hot headed & stubborn. i refuse to acknowledge you as my teachers , as leaders although you were my parents. such were my short sightedness and views at that time.

u could never , become my friend.

and thats when the gap widened , further separating us apart.

i always said " you dont understand me " without looking in their shoes. just my feelings alone, so selfishly alone.

but these few months, i spend most of my time at home, reflecting & trying to put myself in their shoes. Eureka =)

rite now, let me rephrase myself. I m repaying my parents not to brush off of the mistakes i had made in the past, or to ease my guilt, but that i had a blood contract with them. I will stay by their side & help them out. Wherever they go , my heart will always be with them.

condolence.

2009-10-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

When we lose someone we love, it seems that time stands still.

What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived.

those who withered,

and that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget.

those at present,

may the love of those around you help you through the days ahead & hold tight to memories for comfort.

2009-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

dont know who i am,
searching deep inside
not who i was before,
cause that person died

lonely and broken,
cant recognise my own face
nothing feels right,
Fallen out of place

slowly breathing,
planning out the days
ron is not just a little boy,
and this isnt just a faze.

for i lost myself
Oh, so long ago
And i m carrying so much,
I wish i didnt know.

All of the missing pieces,
are lost inside so deep
I m calling out,
Singing myself to sleep.

Time is taking over ,
And theres nothing much to say,
But the words wont come,
and i m pushing the moments away.

the sweeT mwelodies I once knew,
Got swalllowed up by choice
Nobody's there to listen,
Dont wanna hear my voice.

She's there somewhere,
The girl I used to know,
And i dont know who i am ,
Because she chose to let me go.

~

2009-08-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

Today is Wednesday ,August 12 .

My life has gone into a mess. Lost & stranded on a stray path, I m now facing a bleak future.

I was procastinating all my actions along, and now time is not on my side anymore.

I have already suffered, and will most probably continue to suffer for a long period of time.

If I changed my degree course, I will falsely assure myself that I have 3 years to go, and then go on my old habits.
Then while I m in college I will be frequently thinking of " how soon can i graduate " kinda thing.

If I started working , I mite be able to change myself and reduce my family burdens. Then while I am at it I will be ridiculed by the " If I was still in college.. ".

My life is already turning into a game of chess. I am now compromising into a stalemate where my current nor future self is fully satisfied , but its not that miserable till i 'd contemplate suicide.

Well the other player in this game isnt a stranger. As much as I change, I m suprisingly stable over long periods of time. So me.

If I win now , I ll lose later. If I lose now, its not 100 % I ll win later. If I fall in the middle, I 'd go nowhere. Never really winning, never really losing.

Its time for me to become a stronger player in this game. Although I dont know what my future will bring & that all my decisions are made with imperfect knowledge , my current life of continual compromise & boredom is a life a slow torture. I dont want this kind of life anymore.

Instead of fighting with myself , can I just ally with myself for today , and think of something that will make both of us happy ?

something that will make me and you happy for today , and for us , 10 years later.

Think it over , Ron.

2009-07-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

should i start all over again

no i shouldnt.

starting all over is boring.

life is a game, yes ?

time to play it differently then.

path chosen , good or bad, we should strive our best at it no ?

ahaha.

p.s =) i never regret failing. i m nt afraid of failing. i m nt afraid of the calamities which is gonna befall me. i m nt afraid of how ppl look at me, treat me because of my failure . maybe a little , yes.

i dont mind ppl looking down on me. step on me. boss me around. i had a high tolerance & patience against these things.

sometimes i do act tough , yet i could be so timid in many things.

i spent a great deal of time at home these days. i ran away from college. gonna drop out of it soon.

but now , at this very moment . to continue being overshadowed by my darkness of being a society deviant or

get myself involved with something new and then regret it later.

i appreciate all the things which happened around me , happy & sad times, i will always cherish them in my mind

for yer all who read this , just to let you know . i m okay . okay.

ahaha.

2009-05-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

b u m p

Still Alive.

2009-04-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

You have changed

I have changed

Just like you

For how long

Must I wait

I know there's something wrong

Your concrete heart isn't beating

And you tried to

Make it come alive

No shadows

Just red lights

Now I'm here to rescue you

Oh I'm still alive

I'm still alive

I can't apologise no

Oh I'm still alive

I'm still alive

I can't apologise no

So silent

No violence

But inside my head

So loud and clear

You're screaming

Cover up with a smile I've learned to fear

Just sunshine

And blue sky

That's just how it goes

For living here

Come fire

Let it burn and love come racing through

Oh I'm still alive

I'm still alive

I can't apologise no

Oh I'm still alive

I'm still alive

I can't apologise no

Learn to lose

Learn to win

Turn my face against the wind

I will move fast

I will move slow

Take me where I have to go

Oh I'm still alive

I'm still alive

I can't apologise no

2009-04-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

if i live in the glories of my past i m as good as dead

if i live in the miseries of my past i m as good as dead

the only way i could ever be alive is to :

to realize that i am in complete control

to do something new/unlock the puzzle/discover the future

and to seize the moment. dont let go.

i challenged myself to go all out , preparing myself 4 exam in 10 days.

2009-04-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

kalafina - Aria <33

2009-04-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

Yume no kakera - the shard of a dream

kimi ga kureta - lurks within the endless night

akenai yoru ni hisomu - that you gave me

Yorisou hoshi - the stars that gets close

hitotsu kiete - one disappears and

yoake no ARIA ga hibiita - the aria of dawn echoes

Mou kono yamanai ame no naka de - already, in this rain that won't stop,

kinou ni obieru koto mo nai - there's no need to be frightened of yesterday

ima kimi wo nakushita mirai ha - right now, the future that lost you

hajimatta bakari - has just begun

Hatenai yami no naka - in the endless darkness

kimi ga kureta kagaribiga - the watch fire you gave me

garan no kono mune ni - lights up

umaretai nochi wo - the life born into

terashiteiru - this empty heart

Kieta mono to - things that has disappeared and

kawaranu mono - things that won't change

muzan na sora ga hikaru - the cruel sky shines

Wakare wo tsuge - saying good-bye

hohoemi ai - and smiling at each other

sabishii ARIA wo kasanete - by repeating the lonely aria

Nee, hito ha itsumade hitori de - hey, by themselves, until when do people

futari ni kogarete iku no darou - yearn to become two

mada kimi no kirei na mirai ha - your beautiful future

hajimatta bakari...... - has only just begun......

Yasashisa wo shiranai - the kindness given to me by you,

kimi ga kureta yasashisa ga - who doesn't know kindness,

garan no kono mune ni - lights up

na mo naki hikari wo - an unnamed radiance

tomoshite iru - in this empty heart

Kodoku no fune wo kogi - rowing the boat of solitude

kagaribi ha nageki tsudou - the watch fires grief and gather

garan no sekai ni ha - in this empty world

anata no ARIA ga hibii te iru - multiple arias are echoing

2009-04-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

i m definitely going to go insane.

farewell , i heart you.

<3 Air base

2009-03-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

Denial

Sleepless, lightless,
I've been waiting for you
In secret, counting the hours
Until the morning sun
How would you love now what's inside of me
I wonder how we don't have to be anything else but this

Let's end this denial
Let's end this denial

Need you, Feel you
Breathing on me,
Feeling us fading
I'm waiting for you to come home
I felt the light touch, will keep us together, satisfied
You light up my path, speeding the hours
You heal me somehow

Let's end this denial
Let's end this denial

Hear me calling, I'm going, seeking
Time is flowing slowly when you're not around
The heart is rifting, do make us willing
You're spending up my hours until we're not alright

Let's end this denial

~ the Awakening ~

2009-03-02T06:21:00.000-08:00

A time comes in your life when you finally get it ...
when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity,
you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ...
ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum,
you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is Your Awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change,
or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings,
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must Begin With You ...
and in the process a sense of Serenity is born of Acceptance.

You Awaken ...
to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself ...
and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you -
or didn't do for you
and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you
and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself ...
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are
and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties ...
and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing
and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity
are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era,
but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything,
it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are
and not as you would have them be.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple.
You begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet,
drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty
and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life
what you believe you deserve,
and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for
and that wishing for something to happen
is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone,
and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle it
and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life
and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair,
you don't always get what you think you deserve
and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people ...
and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you
and everything isn't always somebody's fault.
It's just life happening.
You learn to admit when you are wrong
and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy
and resentment must be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted,
things that millions of people upon the earth
can only dream about ...
a full refrigerator, clean running water,
a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself
and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling,
to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime outside your window
so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in your heart,
you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and You Begin To Design The Life You Want To Live
As Best You Can.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

~ Written by ... Sonny Carroll ~
This is a stepping stone into self empowerment and finding inner peace.
It is an awakening to the fact that your happiness depends solely on you and always has.
Awaken to the beauty you truly hold.

~

2009-02-16T07:07:00.000-08:00

~

its about time to let myself go

and move on.

i hate this. but i ll be feeling more sry for myself if i dont .

i ll be okay. even though i m alone.

my struggle will go on.

no matter how much my society

oppressively forces on my conformity.

i dont want to fall in the line with the rest.

asked to take medication which mellows myself out ~

I say , No.

No . medicating myself to mediocrity is not a Solution.

I have ADHD.

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder . So ?

I couldnt study properly. so ?

I m being looked down on . so ?

I mature slower then my friends. so ?

I m being branded as deviant , malfunctioning empty headed dreamer. so what ?

Vast simplification and perhaps some narrow mindedness , but hey it's my style

I'm fiery and excitable.

I'm terribly optimistic and cynically careful.

I think in grandiose ideas and tend to stir up passion in others.

If i had chance to be myself . truly myself . if the world i live in allows me to build on my "good" instead of ameliorating my "bad" . what contributions could i make to my society?

would i need my anti-depressants & sleeping pills ? will i be happier ? would this world be a better place ?

~ ... or have i finally , unabashedly and unequivocally declared my insanity ? xD?

2009-02-08T15:26:00.001-08:00

as each day passes by

i m getting weaker and weaker

i had reached a point of no return.

but . i dont want to be a goner yet

i m ready to give up

cutting myself up every single day

i might break

anytime

so, dont come close.

i ll say no

oath

2009-01-18T05:33:00.001-08:00

it gets lonelier as you grow up

true for my case =)

shana no more
ronron no more

putting aside all emotions, fears & regrets

because

starting from t'day

my life takes on a 180 degrees turn

when i feel weak

i ll return here again.

a place where my mind rests

& my heart speaks =)

and also

happy b'day to Janice ~

2009-01-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

In these darkest hours, when you believed in a thing called hope
It is,a matter of time ,before you realized that the only person in this world you can depend on is in fact, yourself.

When a child who is nurtured with so much of love and care in a family grew up to see the ugly side of the world, how would he think ?

When a person is hummiliated , labelled , ignored & treated like a dog and he chose to endure it as long as he can , what would become of him ?

When a person who treats friendship more seriously then himself forsakes his way of life , how much more of pain must he endure ?

When a grandson is unable visit to his grandfather who is going for an operation , how the fuck can he called himself his grandson ? In case he passed away ,I havent say I love U yet.

When a person experienced so much of depression and loneliness that he could easily contemplate suicide but still havent , what will his next move be ?

When a person is willing to let go of everything he holds dear for some strange reasons, does that meant hes given up already ?

Finally,
When a man chooses his path and accepts his destiny , what will his ending be ?

Well, its for me to know and for you to find out.

my words.

2008-12-02T02:57:00.000-08:00

i have a confession to make. a short one =p.

i quit dota =p

anyways.. =p . to all my friends out there who are studying for the exam / embracing the difficulties of their lives , ganbatte & dont give up.

i will , also do the same. from now on.

Today.

2008-09-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

Today , I skipped econs class.
Today , I did my sociology assignment for the first time, printed it out for every one.
Toady , I ate my lunch with Ken Hong.
Today , I met Jarrod, Jason & Yee Li in main block.
Today , I went to play dota with classmates Wei Jin & Jun after socio class.
Today , I went to SS2 to eat my dinner and found out that many shops didnt open.
Today , I kana diu by my mum for skipping class and driving so fast.
Today , I am updating my blog because it was a request, from a friend, and a proof that I m still alive.
Today ,

we are living in a world of dramatic and unprecedented social change : many new technologies and cultural upheavals are transforming our lives. As prosperity grows and cultural taboos break down , millions of people in modernized societies are confronted by more choices than ever about how to live their lives. Yup , that includes me as well.

However, it seems that the drive for ever greater prosperity and new found freedoms and lifestyle choices come at a price, at rates of crime, mental disorder , drug addiction and self harm will always be on the rise.

So, how did our world became like this ? Why are people's life so different , so unimaginable from those of our parents and grandparents ? What are the possibilities of our lives in the distant future ? What are the solutions ?

These are few of the many questions that a sociologist would ask , and attempts to answer. Finding the right key to unlock the mysterious Pandora Box, discovering secrets of the society that made us who we are and who we will become.

I think , I m in love with socio.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kena tag by kar fei. jeez lol.

6 Things I'm Passionate About:
- Going out with friends
- Day-dreaming
- Gunbound
- Sociological reading
- Feeding colourful sea fishes.
- knowin her a lil bit more.

6 Books I've Read Recently:
- Skeletons of the Zahara - Dean King
- The Under Cover Economist - Tim Harford
- Principles of Sociology UOL
- Principles of Economics UOL
- Findings - Kathleen Jamie
- Microeconomics - Robert H. Frank

6 Songs That I Can Listen To Again and Again:
( er for now... currently .. its )
- Loveholic
- Loveholic
- Loveholic
- Loveholic
- Loveholic
- Loveholic

lol.. sis gave me da whole album last sem, now unearthin songs to listen. turns out to be quite nice !

6 Things I Learned In The Past Year:
- always be tolerant & dun emo >:(
- i ve got seasick
- love is never blind. crushes are.
- people do show their care. i gotta appreciate them more ^-^
- dont play with fire , or u ll risk getting burned.
- if you live in the glory of your past, you are as good as dead =)

marketing

2008-08-06T06:32:00.001-07:00

Chapter 10
- Channel conflict : horizontal conflict / vertical conflict
- vertical marketing system
- public policy / distribution decisions
- integrated logistics management

Chapter 11
- retailing - classification (essay) factory outlets
- functions of wholesaling
-wheel of retailing concept

Chapter 12
- sales promotion/advertising/public relations
- PR tools / sales promotion tools

Chatper 13
- major steps in effective selling
- roles of the sales force
- direct marketing forms

Chapter 14
- c2c marketing
- rival marketing
- phishing

Chapter 15
- adaption/ standardization
- product and communication strategies

Chapter 16
- consumerism / environmentalism
- enlightened marketing
- societal classification of products
- primary critisms

click to enlarge

2008-08-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

as u can see from here, the expansionary policy is higher , the effect is increase standards of living - because the things are more expensive

click in it to enlarge

2008-08-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

asdasd

2008-08-05T10:43:00.001-07:00

ah.

2008-08-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

Its been ages ever since I typed anything in here. Tmrs MAcro Exm and I m still blogging my time away.

I think i m a polar bear. after exam onli i ll blog about it . loolx. my music for the soul at the moment => instrumental onli xDD

lost for a moment.

2008-07-02T01:41:00.000-07:00

I had been pondering bottomlessly for the past 3 days and 2 nights. If I am wiser , all of these wouldnt have had happened ...

Case 1 - Mr Wan Fang.
I had been turning down your requests for a group study . Kept you waiting ever since week 3 , and worst , I cant help you at all before mid term. I chose, to prioritize some other things which in the end I felt I failed miserably at doing so either. I m at guilt. And you still treat me as if nothing happened. . . I dont have any excuses for myself. Its okay if you hate me man.

I took your trust for granted. I caused you to fail . I felt that I m the one to be blamed. I 'm ashamed of myself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Case 2 - Sis
A sis I would always look up to , a capable person with resolute willpower. Ur always carrying all the burden by yourself . I m not holding any grudge here, but I found myself unable to keep up with your pace and way of doing things. I just cant . Most probably, I m too stupid to catch up and assist in the group work . I felt left out in doing the assignment and essentially, useless. Tommorow is the deadline for Mkting assignment. I still havent dare to ask anything because I dont know whats going on and how much work every 1 has compiled. Yesterday night , waited till 11 pm for a file but slept in front of the laptop. I felt like trash. I think I m not fit to be your suboordinate. Its too painful for me if things continue to go on like that.

I took your expectations for granted. I failed you. I m sorry >_<

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Case 3 - Seng Hong , Felicia , Yong Jie
My dear macro group members are as, above. Due to my ignorance & carefree atitude, I failed to plan properly and that caused disarray during preparing the assignment. Although the presentation was completed in the last minute , I made every 1 felt uneasy and uncomfortable. It generated waves of disatisfaction and its not what I really want. I will take responsibility for this.

I took your time, energy & devotion for granted. For that , I apologize. I wont let that happen , ever again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Case 4
Someone once told me , that doing well in my course will enable me to graduate faster , and bring my parents happiness. If I failed in my subjects I will use more of my parents' money for education, therefore wasting their money . I used to think like that , too .

But I see it now , that failing in my course isnt about wasting their $$$. Its about wasting their LovE. Sometimes, somethings are so pure and beautiful in this world that blind ppl like me cant even see them. Even though its right in front of my eyes.

I've taken love for granted . I will remember this forever. Lov3 ya , M & D.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Case 5 - mySelF
I used to think exams are everything. Slacking off in class, were my relaxing days & also , the times when I spoilt myself to the max.

The test of the majority lies in its minority.

I learnt today , that the course itself is a test. From the moment I enrolled, every single day is the beginning of a new test. Thus, understanding the materials thought in class is as important as sitting for the finals. If I only study for the exams, I wont get much satisfaction from learning.

I gotta be more passionate in my studies. Thank you , to a person who taught me the meaning of the word embrace.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

bah... i wanna sleep liaox. tired

even i say i wanna sleep , i cant =/ . . had to wait for that some 1 to patch up the remaining assignment. . waiting and waitin . . cant sleep , cant sleep .

~

2008-06-27T02:28:00.000-07:00

3 types of secrets :

1. Secrets, that you hide at the bottom of your heart because you dont want it to be mentioned

2. Secrets, that you cant say even if you want to

3. Secrets, that you hope someone asks about even though you're hiding it

I emo ad. I had enough . I call it quits.

2008-06-25T01:51:00.000-07:00

my mid term is like shiet

reality bites

i got mocked

i flunked it

it made me realised my position

time for a change

to get my self-esteem back.

(o.O)

2008-06-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

In this few days , I would like to

while

o.O

2008-06-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

know whats it felt like to be undescribed by words ?

r a n d o m

2008-06-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

the sky ? nah.

hD ? nah.

Sundae ? Yes sir !!

(=_=)

2008-05-29T01:25:00.000-07:00

(=.=) (+_+) (a_a) (c_c) (x_x) (T_T) (n_n) (!_!) (~_~) (^_^)
($_$) (0_0) (z_z) t(^.^)t (>_<) (>.<) (u_u) (o_O) (n_N) (z_Z)

Farkity FARking FARK !!! I accidently scratched my head and back when bathin .. I M NEVER gonna KEEP long nails anymore =(

Looks like Phase 1 failed miserably. 2/3 rd of it is gone. Perhaps i should implement a controlling Marks Ceiling , then i wont laze around anymore because its either fail or full.

I dont know why , but i m vv dissapointed with myself. It made me go into solitude , far deeper then before. My judgement became bad , and my will weakening. Its even harder for me to speak and express myself now. My head feels like exploding.

I wanna shout & scream , but i cant even do that . I feel weak. Perhaps , u guys might just think that I choose to feel weak.

Today mum went to Brunei. Before , she would always grumble on my carefreeness , and that i m always a lazy and irresponsible boy. She would be there for 2 weeks ,taking care of dad. I miss her home cooked food even though its 1 day.

Its 8.44 pm rite now. I m still lazing around. As i write this , i wanna gather some courage and go to bath and then open the stats book . The norm me would just throw the book aside and start playing Rohan Online.

I gotta tell myself to not be undecisive as nuna. If not, i cant move on in my studies. I need to go bath rite now. I ll make a promise to myself. The next entry to this blog will be when i finished studying my stats. I swear , with my life.

Just a moment.

2008-05-20T04:08:00.000-07:00

life is complicated. it is not hard to live , but trying to understand and question life is where u ll end up in depression.

Thus , i am once again , lost.

In fact, i m even more depressed not knowing the cause of my depression.

I always believed that things happen for a reason. But last week , i tried to accept things without any reasons.

It certainly didnt work well.

So today , I would like to share with you my way of handling depression. Steps are below. Dont trip.

1. Find a toilet which you are comfortable with, and get yo ass in there and take a hot shower.

2. Next, go get a place where you can sit . If theres none , use the toilet bowl.

3. In a sitting position (not squat duh) , submerge yourself in your own darkness. Guilt , regret , hate , loneliness, anything. 1 minute.

4. Run the tap water. Pour the streams continuously on your head. Do it heads down. U will feel a soothing sensation while the water is cooling your head off. 2 minutes.

5. Continue to recall the depression, worries and maintain the posture for another 2 minutes.

6. You should have enough of that depression by now. Use the remaining time to reflect on the past events, and gather every bits of courage and willpower you got to execute what you need to do . 1 minute.

7. Get outta freaking toilet & dont look back . Just remember =\ the depression you get today is for tommorow's happiness. So , dont let the depression go to waste.
Life isnt about making the best choices. Its about making the best out of every choice.

Phase 1

2008-05-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

The following week is everything .

LEts Rock.

I m so nervous ~_~ !

ps: Since today is Wesak , my as well blast some spiritual music =\. Its Neyuki from Uttara. Enjoy =p .
To those who lost their lives in the recent earthquakes, I pray that you will find your way to heaven & rest in eternal peace. I m sorry.

New Ideas.

2008-05-15T03:29:00.001-07:00

Now i know why :

1. I feel awkward when it comes to sharing food with my friends. Ever since i entered HMC , i have been pondering on this for 2 sems already. It makes me perplexed because all my friends can share their food so easily but i just cantttt DarN !!

But now i know the answer.. thats because I m the only son .. in my family. I usually dont share food with my dad or mum .. LAWL cuz they EAT SPICYYY !! AAHHHHHHHH

Its really weird for me because i dont mind giving my part but i m reluctant to eat my friend's share of food when offered. Its like what Ms Winnie said , " the stigmas implanted in my head by my environmental factors " is affecting my behaviour and way of thking. High chances that this is what causing the weirdness i m feeling. well .. who knows , i mite be wrong =\
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. I feel real uncomfortable at times especially if i m in a place with lots of peoples . I could feel a sea of voices flowing inside my head through my ears , trying to drown me. Also the heat from carbon dioxides make me perspire and I HATE PERSPIRING. Theres onli 2 reasons why i hate sweating.

a) The sweat trickles down my forehead , thus causing my loose specs to slide at an alarming rate. THis MEANS i gotta push my freaking specs up almost every minutes.. instead of the average 4-5. I HATEEEE ITTT !!!

b) When i sweat , my face became oily and sticky. And i dont like oily and sticky because oily means my specs will again , sliDE and sticky means theres gonna be dirts glued on to my face ARGHHH !!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. I like quiet places. Perhaps because my room is quiet , so i m used to sleeping in a quiet place. Also i lock myself in my own room in my own house most of the time so .... . . . U get the idea.. ?
HEY>> I M NOT SADISTIC OK >> I M JUST A bored TENNAGER ..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. I m beginning to dislike Malaysian Studies Class. Freaking Hell. Here are the reasons :

a) everytime when we enter her class she mentions her problems of handling 3 classes of 240 students. we know , we know . just tell us once enough la.. mcb

b) she seems to be so high of herself and she expects us (her students) to be like her - think intelligently & bla bla bla

c) heck , i know that ur a cool teacher , but ur teaching style is beginning to bore me to death.

d) u said to be creative , and innovative and to come up with brilliant ideas . U expect us to come up with brilliant ideas when what u did was giving us 1 % of what u taught ? so absurD .
Obviously, the answers we give will only answer 1 % of your questions.

e) Plus , u keep complaining about the slides that were created by the LAN departments. U said they werent your slides. Why not come up with ur own slides then ? why complain.. ? other students laugh because they think its funny... but to me ur like a Lame Clown.

f) what makes u think that u can change the way we see things ? what makes u even think or assume that we have a form 5 mentality ? man... this is not a leadership camp.. we cant do flying fox inside the conference room ..

g) psycho b1tch !

h) psycho b1tch !

Typical Weekend.

2008-05-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

I m so burnt out. havin called out for continuous dota sessions. its hard for me to decline any of them , simply because i had retired from my gunbound world, and had no other games to play.

some games were miserable , some games were so damn hillarious. lol !

the hillarious ones :

a) while we were outside the enemy base , we set up a bait for the enemy to makan. ( fishing)
And then we waited patiently (hiding somewhere in the nearby fog) . And then we saw 4 red dots ( enemy) jumping on our friend ( bait). the next thing we did was shouted SUPRISE !!! and we counter raped them . then what happens next was , we could hear screams coming from the other end of the cc lol !!! the screams were similar to those roller coaster rides !

b) quotes from an opponent who is being repeatedly gangbanged mercilessly and mauled to death . " I like it rough , but this is just too much for me t.t " & " dont aim me la bro. . my b'day is today " LAWL !!!! so damn hillarious la... beh tahan...

anywayz, sometimes we do played against uber pros , as expected , our team would naturally lose , because of difference in skills . but wont kena pawn till so teruk la.. haha

Comment:
1.3 years had passed . In this period , most of the friday nights had been spent playing dota with my kakis . Although our team isnt up to a pro's standard , but we played long enough to understand each other's style and we had been through countless games . From the funniest moments, in-games frusfrations, adrenaline rushes , and to attaining wins, we shared them all , together. Its hard to find a replacement , especially when 1 of us is absent. Less fun lawls. Like somethin is missing.

Anywayx, this is what i think of a great team iz all about :
1. theres gotta be consistency
2. theres gotta be trust between members

havin these traits , a team can be real strong , & u ll never know its limits until u'd try.

ps : u guys really helped made my day =]
the moments : i will cherish them =p

tired .. gtg sleep .nites

sometimes.

2008-05-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

sometimes life's unfair. especially when theres a decision to make . even worst when it involves friends . How do i weigh my own responsibilities & self interest ? i m not taught to do this in school. its given me hell alot of headache .. and i cant fcking sleep .. made me typed this shit at 6.20 am .

i gotta reflect on myself and decide .Go or dont go ? 2 choices only but it made me undecisive , so stucked , so frusfrated . i was afraid of the consequences that i might face , the problems that might arise if i made that choice. thts whats holding me back. feelings of guilt & fear of regret regardless of faults.

but , i m not the old ron anymore. i cant do things which exceeds my limit of doing things and then forsake my own self for that matter. i want to do the things , that are important to me, now , and problems which arise , i ll face them later. tht will do .

if theres any dissapointments, i m sry. -Ln- nites and all the best for ur exam ~

ah..

2008-05-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

tday , ate spaghetti bolognise in S. Recipe - it made me think of ceo's carbonara =[
haih ,, the spaghetti cacat 1.. cannot even compare to ceo's cookin. lawl.

Lmao.. Enjoy =] !

2008-05-05T06:37:00.000-07:00

1. Three Men
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The female interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced,
a) "Nothing. He's an economist."

b) "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually an economist. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal."
Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"

"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:

- The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
- The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
- The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they're awakened by a knock. It's the engineer, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal." The chemist says that, OK, he'll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It's the chemist who says, "There's a pig in that barn. I'm Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal." So the economist is sent to the barn. It's getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep. But they're awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It's the cow and the pig!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price. The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back. Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. Experienced economist and not so experienced economist are walking down the road. They get across shit lying on the sidewalks.

Experienced economist: "If you eat it I'll give you $20,000!"

Not so experienced economist runs his optimization problem and figures out he's better off eating it so he does and collects money. Continuing along the same road they almost step into yet another shit.

Not so experienced economist: "Now, if YOU eat this shit I'll give YOU $20,000."
After evaluating the proposal experienced economist eats shit getting the money. They go on.

Not so experienced economist starts thinking: "Listen, we both have the same amount of money we had before, but we both ate shit. I don't see us being better off."
Experienced economist: "Well, that's true, but you overlooked the fact that we've been just involved in $40,000 of trade."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

A2: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!

A3: None, they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9. Economists do it with models . . .

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10. Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying the exact opposite things .

--------------------------------------------------------------LmAO !!! ------

i admire..

2008-05-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

i admire the clouds , swift and determined

i admire the sea , for having so many faces

i admire the wind , for its simplicity

i admire the sky , so vast and mighty

i admire the mountains , which had embraced through uncountable hardships

i admire the sun , always burning with passion

i admire the stars , always watching over me

i admire our friendship , becuz its given me a whole new meaning in my life =]

sorry..

2008-05-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

I feel sorry from the bottom my heart :

1. Sixers
I'll have to wait for 1.5 months . So , especially Kar Fei , sry , i got u lookin forward into this but i am unable to lend it to you till then. Sry yeah , to make u wait. Sry to yong and joyce too. But if u guys want , i still got some korean drama dvds with me if u want just ask from me , i go get.
Janice, sry to trouble u in da morning with a distressful call. sry.

2. Sis
Cant lend to u rite now, too. hyung says : Sorry ~_~"

3. Ken , my buddy.
I m , sry ken .. i tht i could offer some help as a friend , but now it seems like i let u down because i m unable to do so. Besides , i will have to trouble u once again after 1 month , i have to recollect all the stuff from u. Sry yeah.. for makin empty promises.. i ll compensate that with a kanpai.

4. my baby .
Although , the time we spent through together is short , but i find it meaningful , your existence is not in vain =). So , forgive ur master for being such an ignorant and useless owner k ?

5. Leon, Chin Yong, Ken , FJ.
Sry , because i ffk u all in cc tonite. i dont have the mood to go tagei after what has happened.
I dont know why , but i just wanted to be alone. sry.

Brutal Slavery (x.x)

2008-04-28T04:26:00.000-07:00

1. Do you eat a lot of fast food? No. Sadly.

2. Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
Forehead. Thats where my mum kissed me when I was a baby.

3. Have you kissed anyone in 2008?
No. Does virtual kiss count ? *muaks*

4. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Yes.

5. Have you ever streaked?
What? Gastreak? I got many this month.

6. Are you an understanding person?
A little, yes.

7. What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
Forbidden Kingdom. It was hilarious !

8. Did you pray before you went to bed last night?
Holy Moly ... I prayed every night for the past few weeks.

9. What did you last get upset about?
Currently , none.

10. Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
Marshmallows, here I come !!!

11. Does it make you happy to get letters in the mail?
Of course. Every mail is a chance to experience somethin new.

12. Who was the last person to text you?
Clifford.

13. What are you looking forward to this summer?
Everything this summer has , to offer me.

14. Who was the last person you ate with?
Ma.

15. Do raisins belong in cookies?
I dont know. I dislike raisins.

16. What's your screen name?
Acer CrystalBrite. Brilliant LcD performance.

17. Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?
The atmosphere.

18. Are you currently taking a science class in school?
Yes. I m taking social science in HMC.

19. You've just won a free vacation to either South America or North Korea?
North Korea , please. Thats where Gunbound originates.

20. Kiss on the first date?
I dont have the guts.

21. Would you rather have chicken or steak?
Chicken , please.

22. Why did your last relationship end?
There wasnt a relationship to begin with , so there isnt an end yet.

23. What's one thing you've learned??
Half assed jobs , give you half assed rewards.

24. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Lee Seng Hong. Sleeping , when we did assignment . ( he deleted it) ish !!

25. How often do you see your exes?
Sorry , I dont have an axe.

26. Who was the last baby you held?
Wilson. My nephew.

27. Would you ever donate blood?
I dont think so. My blood's unclean.

28. How many snack machines are in your school?
Haha. I dont know.

29. Have you ever felt replaced?
Yeah.

30. Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?
Nope. I m not into animals.

31. Do you believe in karma?
I m human =).

32. Have you ever been asked out?
Yeah.

33. Are you good at telling jokes?
Nope. I cant express myself clearly at times.

34. Have you ever driven without a license?
My mum's gonna kill me before the police does.

35. How is your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend doing?
Iono.

36. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
Nope. I m happy with my body rite now.

37. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yeah .

38. When ordering sushi, what do you get?
Octopus.

39. How many of your friends have seen you naked?
None ?

40. Do you write in cursive or in print?
Print. Cursive is hen ma fan.

41. Would you rather have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or friends with benefits?
Havin friends is already a blessing itself.

42. Who was the last person you sat next to?
Ma.

43. What were you doing at 10 am?
Sleepin like a dead log.

44. Are you different now than you were six months ago?
A lil , I guess.

45. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Cinnamon flavored chinese tea.

It Begins .

2008-04-28T03:01:00.001-07:00

YeHa. Tmr will be the start of my Last Semester in HMC. My reso for this sem :

1. I aint doin half assed jobs anymore. I mma go all out for it , since they are my fav+ subjects.
2. I , I dont wish to repent or dwell with the wrongdoins or misunderstandings of my past , so I 'll just focuz on whats in front of me.
3. Nothing is gonna stop me.
4. I'll do things the way I like & the choices I made , I will take full responsibility.
5. I 'd never give up , ever . No matter how hard / tough my life is gonna be for this sem.

1 hour before results out ~

2008-04-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

Damn. Its been a while ever since i experience this much anxiousness. Never before had i prayed so hard to just freaking pass my exams. half assed , i knew if i pass , it would be by a slight margin. cant stop thinking about it the whole night. i didnt wanna put any false hopes on myself and yet unprepared to prepare for the worst , and still holding to this thing called miracle.
i dont see any angels, are they meant to be unseen ? i only see the causes and effects of my previous actions - silly and always jumping to conclusions - so taboo . Rite now i m so tensed i couldnt even finish my lunch box. hunched back sitting crosslegged on my chair in my room blasting jap songs to ease my mind a little. i m afraid . there's like a million if's going on in my mind. even my whole hand shivers, with a cold sensation at the fingertips. my stomach doesnt feel well , and worst of all my heart beats faster every second . 45 minutes to go .come on , Dont let me down Ronald . U tried ur fcking best rite, even tho its at last minute. Come on . Face the world . DArn , i m jumping to conclusions again. so quick to convince myself about false hopes and excuses again. I m a person who is onli convince by what he sees or feels , so i can t program my mind to believe in this kind of stuff again, but these things drive the motivation in me ( blind motivation) thats what i called it. its rather dissapointing because i kept telling myself to believe in a non existant angel. despite knowing the onli angel was only myself , i kept forcing myself to believe in a non existant element. So , if i failed , i m not an angel to myself anymore =x i m a devil . my angelic side tells me that no matter what failures i'd face , take it as chance. my demonic side tells me to seek refuge in false hopes and let fate decide. I m seriously torn . Its so hard waiting just for this 1 hour. Much harder then buying presents for ppl's b day. 30 minutes to go . my thoughts just keeps jumping into the random events of my past. flashbacks, of events , its building the tension, just like a tsunami wave. waiting to crush on me . all i can do is to hope that i ll survive it. i hate it. i seriously hate waiting for something thats so unsure of . half assed jobs sure give you creeps. i think that i can do it , but in the end i did it half assed. so much for a college student. sipping cinamon flavored chinese tea , i listened to the sounds of my room . fan spinning , music waves bouncing of the wall from my speakers , alphabets being typed , and my own heavy breath. damn , i could even hear my own heart beat .

25 minutes to go. oh ma fcking goddd........ i m seriously tense ni .. ! i m afraid to accept whats gonna happen in the next 25 mins . not man at all . not even boy.. just like a girl . arghhhh.
i m scared of my own results. cowardice. i being controlled by the results of my own actions .
and worst.. i m afraid i will let down those who put their hopes in me. i feel v v guilty . . . seriously guilty to the max. . if i failed.

20 minutes to go . fark ... i m gonna go crazy. sien.. i m starting to get bored of this feeling not stimulating at all . i ll just let the feeling go and seal it inside my treasure box. and stop babbling about negativity . (+_+)V good luck to all my tomodachi , i m sure u all will get better results then this half assed peer.

(+_+)

2008-04-21T09:52:00.001-07:00

beenwaitinsolongforthatdaydontknowhatodoanymoredoneverythingicouldbutitsmakingmemoreanxiousdaybydaystaringattheceilinglyingonmybedstaringatthewalltheresomanythingsicouldobutijustcantcozidonthavethewillpowertodoitryingtorecallwhatihavedonepreparingmyselforthatdayisquitehardcozwhenyouexpectfortheworstyoufeeldownsoconfusedsodisappointedinmyselfsofarkedupsounhappysogonnagocrazy

ah well.

Baka !!? =p

2008-04-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To hope is to risk pain.

To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Mixed Emotions , My Way

2008-03-27T02:44:00.000-07:00

Whenever I opened up and looked at this page, it always reflected back on myself. I found myself typing immature things , much like a small kid's. But thats not the point. I started blogging last sem , and i had to admit that this sem brings me the most emotions i could ever felt in my life. It gave me tons of experiences, and taught me in many ways (whether right or wrong). =)

Anywayx , The point here is that my passion for blogging is fading away. I had always been an active blogger, pouring my feelings and thoughts into the blog. But I found myself looking at a totally different view now. Not that I dont have the time to blog , but i find it pointless, meaningless to continue this act.

I felt that it is meaningless for other people to read my blog , listen to the songs in here and updating themselves for whatever they thought are happening in my life. After all , to me, blogging tends to be 1 sided, and it definitely didnt help me in opening up my mind & it narrows the way i see things. Words arent everything after all ,arent they =p ?

So what I m trying to say is, if you , my dear readers felt bored ,instead of reading my blog,
feel free to
Give me a call 012-672 6827 .
We can go yum cha & do many things more and till then ,i ll update u with whats really going on in my life.
Life is definitely more interesting if its always unperdictable and full with suprises =p.
I'd be lookin foward to it xD !

No, I m not turning back.

2008-03-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

there are some stuff which i dont know how to explain. more to like i dont want to explain.

As far as friendship is concerned and i consider u all as really real good friends.
& i will never abandon any of my friends , ever , and i will always support u guys
but there are some exclusions, which is indeed serious.

then if that happens , i wont be able to join u guys, but my heart will be together with u all
where ever u all goes

i m not being emo , i am already very calm , just that in life there are decisions to be made

i dont wanna shift blames and see any 1 quarrel,and be troubled by my problem
but things will get a lil heated up after finals.

till that time, nothing will change my mind, if i had made that decisions, then means i already carefully consider it , ready to let it go.

pls understand that. So for now , i d try my best to put on a nice mask.

=)

2008-03-22T05:21:00.001-07:00

Not saying anything,
Not looking back ,
Not feeling sad for the past ,
Not feeling sry,
A change of mind,
A change of heart ,
In order to move forward .

Sky =) Skyyyyyyyy =)

2008-03-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

I m loving myself a little bit more, day by day .
Think positive , a little , dont hate myself anymore.
Its weird, when you love yourself, the feeling of self pity, and sad is GonE .
Its so automatic. It helped me to open my locked up mind.
I m relieved by alot now. I loveeeee myselfff.
I ll never put some 1 else as the center of my life again.
Not because i m afraid of the pain, but because , if i do that, i will end up hurting myself real bad.
And i dont want to hurt myself becoz i love myself. I need to start taking care of myself , and i wanna touch the SKY.
Finals in 2 more weeks. OVercame the psychological barrier, Now its physical preparation.
The real preparation Begins !!!! As from today onwards , I d look forward to another day and i promised myself , never to look back at the things which i reGRETeD.
Why choose to suffer, when everything in this world is in your hands? Everything starts from 100 %. If it goes down , means You need to get that lost %back , and it starts from accepting yourself, who you are , and what wrong you did =) .
I m not pretending . =) .This is real , and this is what i felt.
For micro , if u guys who read this , want to clarify some stuff, I'd try my best to help . Dont worry about asking silly stuff or waste time or what ever, if i can touch the sky , i ll drag u guys up too =).

Bubyex , Trolak =)

2008-03-16T01:02:00.000-07:00

Hm. Nice camp with an unexpected turn of events. It was boring on the first day, but fun on the next. Air conditioned room , heater shower, TV, medium grade fluffy beds, and soft + warm blankets. The food there was 10 x better then Mama's Kitchen. Makes sense , after all we are in a resort. At 1 point, Steven was saying that HELP wants to buy our heart by giving us all these surpluses LOL. That makes the camp.
Now about me. If I say that after this camp , I had already instil the qualities of a leader , I'd be a fcking lier. However , it aint meaning I aint gaining anything at all.
I stayed there for 2.5 days. So , 2.5 days worth of experience. But as far as I m concerned , I m still the old me .
1. I learned that planning for a goal ISNT good enough. You have to plan for the miscalculations and other problems which will arise as well . And always be calm , and observe more, to deduce the best solution.
2. The camp gave me a boost to my endurance towards annoying pests, and also reminiscing the last time I went intothe jungle.
3. I made new friends. To begin with, I was in Emma's group. And so I made friend's with Emma, Iris, Rajeb , Sherwan , and 1 more girl , short hair and Short, she sprained her leg, and i forgot to ask her name . .. ( so i called her Satan Shirt) because her shirt says something about Satan. That girl is in Micro class.. have to ask by monday._.
4. And then , then .. let me think. Ah ! I know. I m still immature yet. Sorry for that._. But in my state now, I m mentally unprepared for emotionally things. I cant say i ll just push it aside, because its totally imposible and i D be lying again, but but but I'd be calm and take it as easy as possible.
5 aND the last thing, prob the most precious souvenir , I'd ever get from this camp.
"Never live in the Glory of your Past . If you do that, you are already DeaD."

My Frontier t.t

2008-03-13T05:05:00.000-07:00

I live in a world full with desires. I am sure we all do. Just by having desire itself , we are able to move on , motivate ourselves , reassure and even change our paths. I exists too ,because of this so-called desire. I vividly recalled, last sem , when I created my first facebook account. I was saying that I m still finding my purpose in this world and bla bla bla. What crap lolx.

Recently I keep seeing things in a diff way , and I cant stop pondering. I came into this world with a 0 . And Like a graph , i d never see the maximum of it. I onli know that i start with a 0, rite from the bottom. So rite now , my purpose is to try and live my life to the fullest, so that my graph will be a happy one =)

wtf .. la

2008-03-12T00:13:00.000-07:00

I knew it . I knew something was wrong. Finals start from Cost of Production? Are u kiddin me ? After all cost of production & Markets Means got 2 CHApters onli for Finals. After 5 hours of trying, i barely managed the first 12 pages. I know. U wanna kill me in AC's FC's and MC's ? But I am not afraid nor intimidated . I wont lose to ur fcking paper. I wont get owned that easily. Just wait knn. Time's on my side.

Tenshin ~

2008-03-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

I wonder if theres some 1 watching over me. I'm feeling hopeless again. I know that I m thinking too much again, but thats just me. Sigh . Cant wait for finals to be over. I'd be looking forward to it. No doubt. Till then , i Have to bear the pains of waiting.
I m unable to take care of myself, yet I think of other peoples. And I cant help much. If i say I m dissapointed in myself, that would be a lie, because originally I dont even give a damn. But I dont see I'm totally passive either. I m in the shades of gray.
I m being confused, because I m cant weigh my problems ; the way I see them and also the problem itself. So frusfrating at times. Many people keep telling me , do what you are suppose to do , but I find that statement so vague. If they were to specify the advise , it would base all the way down to feelings of sympathy and care.
So does that mean, i should say , thankyou for your care, and still ponder about my unsolved problems ?
Nothing in this world seems concrete. I dont even know where I m standing on. Time changes things quickly, unexpectedly and its happening as I type. Still so undecisive . Still immature.
Still unchanged. Is this what it feels to be young ?
I pray and hope that the angel which is watching over me guides me to the side where I truly belong. Dont desert me yet, because I need you. So , lend me your will and strength , and place me under your blessings. In return , I'd be your angel next time =).

Do yoU ?

2008-03-06T04:04:00.001-08:00

Do You haVe What It takES To be a Ronald?
(open to all kinds of people)
As the title suggests , the conditions are as BeloW :

a) Postpone your assignments to the last day before deaDLinE.
b) Sleeps at minimum 3.30 am every day.
c) Eating irregularly, sometimes one meal a day, or brunch during dinnertime, and so forth.
d) Refrain from talking to anyone you see.
e) Listening to a particular song 30-40 times in a row.

Venue : AnywherE
Time Limit : 7 days = 1 week
Here comes the rewards for those who succeed :
1st prize : RM 100 . Plus , Transport from Ronald , Free 1 month.
2nd prize : RM 50 bucks.
3rd prize : 1 Starbucks / Dunkin Donuts worth RM 13.
Consolation Prize ! : Warbook 10 million. LOL.

Remember ! Its 1st come 1st serve basis !
I think thats all la. Haha , if u are looking for some challenge then can come try. Which I 'd doubt any 1 will HAHA.

oO ~ Lyric !

2008-03-05T05:20:00.000-08:00

IRYU OST AESTHETIC LYRICS

Longing for you day and in dream

I'm hoping you are here and leading my way

You steers my road anytime I need

If you walk away, I will follow you

Trying my life

With your sacred gifts you gave to me

I won’t vain and succeed it as your precious soul

Holding your hand

And I'm walking through the all of the world

Carrying your wish like the Venus in the dim sky

How ironic =x

2008-03-02T05:11:00.000-08:00

Come to think of it , I spent 3 years playing GunbounD. Yep. This game had me stuck on to it for 3 years. My friends all have moved on to other games , but I m still drawn to it. The game itself is more like a place where I can relax , and enjoy my pace. When I experienced Gunbound for the first time, it formed a bond between the both of us. A bond born from the heart =). It became my remedy when I m lonely, It cheered me up when I am down , so much like a reliable friend. A friend which reflects on myself deeply .

No matter how much I'think , its 3 years, around 1000 days . On count :P . I played a lot less , probably because I am at 90% .Learned the in & outs ,played with all kinds of ranks & peoples. Now, I'd login occasionally to greet the friends I have made online , and spend some of my time with them.

The funny thing is , I never get bored . When I m playing gb , the things around me became oblivious. I got so deep , so absorbed into that world of mine that I 'd wished that time was frozen there and it could last forever .Anyways , 3 years =S . If it was a subject, I guess I would obtain a degree in Gunbound already . But this thing :P is the first which I've ever put my entire soul & concentration in it. And i Didnt regret any single bit . Even though it slowed me down for 3 years =).

Now as I look back , my past has became a memory that is engraved in my mind. The memories of this game is one that I will cherish and never forget , as long as I live.

MArcH !

2008-02-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

Today is 1st March le. I just wake up at 12.00 pm , so bored and started typing some crap here .
Yesterday night cannot sleep properly. Kena pawn in dota till mother cannot recognize . I started feeding =x , my frag became negative . I felt left behind a little in the my games. Although my gb is improving , i doubt i will gain anything from it . And my college , too. My results is like static. CTS exam was like a wow. Despite the title, what i really need for the cts is insanely analyzing skills and some decent memory to answer tht paper. Which i decide is not really worth my time . And i m going to face the consequences . I'd opt for half , 10 marks at least . Maybe I ll get less . Who 'd knows . Pfft .

Hungry. . . Want to go tabetai now. Adios amigos , & bon' appetit.

Am I ...

2008-02-27T08:28:00.000-08:00

Am I addicted to blogging ?
Am I that unfocused ?
Am I that Blur that I dont even know myself ?
Am I easily confused & influenced?
Am I too Naive ?
Am I a coward ?
Am I on the right track ?
Am I lazy or this sem is busy as hell ?
Am I gonna make it through this sem ?
Am I thinking too much ?

Now I know living alone in the house is no fun at all. So freakin boring. House chores left undone. My rooms messy as a war zone . I became so lazy tat i started skipping my meals. It started with lacked of sleep at first. Why lack of sleep ? Its cybergaming addiction. That eventually leads to me skipping class today =( . I d figured I ll lose all my focus after mid term. Why cant my mind just stay focused , think easy and just fckin complete my assignments. So hard to lift myself up. So reluctant. And I had to procastinate all the time I ve got to the very last minute, where the pressure is at the highest and getting over stressed up myself. Always standing in the middle of that fence. My fence. Always undecisive . Which is why I have no life.
Much to my dismay , I know I dont understand anything at all . And , in front of my friends , I became a different person . I would blabber about things that I wouldnt usually said . It made me weird. Uncomfortable. Irregular. I guess u are right . I need some time for myself. Just a while will do.

I .. I .. Lol. I'm Woo Wai Kit. o(^.^)==o Puch !

2008-02-25T22:54:00.000-08:00

It has been a long while , ever since I felt this way . Usually bored , and low in self confidence, U can often find me confined in my room , eternally locked in the cage of boredom. But today , I did something i wouldnt have thought of myself. I BROKE OUT OF MY NORM.
It feels as if I saw a glimpse of my own life, how I want it to be and most importantly It made me happy in a way. Theres more & more meaning to living in this world. Found out that there is so many things out there to be done, experienced and lived.

And 1 more thing before i forgot =x. About my college life. I may have taken a liking to this *** ***** but that doesnt mean that I had Given in my Heart yet . True , I had a hard experience but as i continued to probe myself further i uncover a lil bit more about my own personality.
The "like" which i felt is more towards admiration of that bubbly personality of urs . Yup , Minus that 38 ness .LOL. Anyways , i m off to collect nice dramas for all the sixers to watch .
I m quiet , but that doesnt mean i m always troubled by that reason . The things going on in my mind are of course problems that i started in the first place . Once a gamer , always a gamer. Once a sixer , always a sixer too . No regrets whatsoever.

>.< v !!

2008-02-25T00:49:00.000-08:00

Today is a @@ day. Didnt sleep at all for the whole night, because playing gb. Then then in the morning when i was Sleeping in CTS CLass i got freaked out , Almost get heart attack. Here is what happened : I was tired , sleep deprived, and before going to CTS Class i leaned on the wall , right next to the fire hydrant / alarm . And then , it was time for CTS , so i hurriedly went in and take a nap. While i was doing so , a bunch of girls went to take their seat. And then Mandy , Shouted " OMG ! WU- GONG !" At first , i was pretty ignorant and dont give a damn la. So dem 7 sleepy ad.. still want listen meh. Then the word WU- GONG sound so farmiliar that it began to ring a bell on my head. Then PANG JIA YING came in , he said "O SHIT ! , Ronald , DONT MOVE " . The instant he said that , i was WAT THE FARK!@#$ ! Theres is a freaking milipede or centipede on my body . My fear took over me and i began sweeping my hair and my whole body like a dog getting rid of water. And My FACE was like PALED. For a while. That made me unable to sleep for the whole CTS CLASs. TRied to take it easy but.. DAMN kena phobia for a while. Luckily the centipede fall on the floor and ended up stomped by ceo. So farking disgusting. I also dont dare imagine that its crawling on my head and i dont feel anything, even though CRawling in between my hair. EWwwwww. BleaGH . Pui pui pui . BLeaaggggg. Yuck.
So next time guys , Lesson of the day , Never to lean on the wall where there is HOLES in them . They are home for not only spiders , but malicious Centipedes as well =) . *Take note *

Mooo =)

2008-02-22T11:29:00.001-08:00

Havent Touched Dota, WAtch movies, pool , Visit FTz for a long time =x
My hands getting itchy == . Dont know whether my farming still ok or not =x . Going to become a noob loolx.
I missed the time spent with ccy , pho , ken , and Fj . Missed the Burger stall at the roadside too.
After my tests , i ll join u guys . I ll get my form a.s.a.p too. Till then , u guys have fun and go ahead =(
As for my dear blog , rest well . I ll change song themes for you now and then. ~ ja ne ~

LoL =)

2008-02-21T00:42:00.001-08:00

Felt like a woman with pms. HAd a major breakdown for the past 2 days , because of my immaturity and stupidity hahah .. quite funny when i looked back . . nvm now felt a lil bit more better , i think. hahah i took the stress test yesterday , it registered 19 /20 . Want to apologize to the 6 =x for ffking . . . i went to get some help. and hard as it is , i tell myself to move on , bit by bit , and now i hav gotta tell myself to take it EasY .

At least for now , i m feeling hungry rather then sobbing and whining like a suicidal bitch . Hah ^-^.

BTw, if any of you have the time , check this article about Radical Honesty out : its pretty good =x lolol

http://www.esquire.com/features/honesty0707

2008-02-19T03:24:00.000-08:00

The Decision That Hurts.
Its not easy for me to make that decision. But I figured I d hurt myself less. Sadness and depression builds up when u miss some1 so much. Cant bear the pain anymore because its driving me crazy. I cant pretend and go on like this anymore. The feeling just got stronger every time i think abt it . And it hurts more , enough for me to tear.
Tried to contain my feelings but it pains me even more. I cant lie to myself. This is my problem. Theres no need 4 any 1 to read this . Hate me if u want , use me as u like & break me as u wish. AFter all , I m just a blind fool in this world.

l o l =)

2008-02-12T04:30:00.000-08:00

Determination

Sometimes life plunges into a fall ,
Obstacles arise out of the blue ,
Nonetheless we should never stall ,
Deep in the heart lies a clue.

As barriers are ploughed through to attain achievement ,
Seek our inner conscience for the key ,
To unlock the door of great encouragement ,
Bringing us unyielding gallantry.

Be strong as well as firmly resolute ,
Set your goals and plan your way ,
Endeavour comes before salute ,
Never give in , never say nay.

Overcome life's vicissitudes and challenges ,
Armed with a heart of steel , filled with lion's roar ,
Place yourself in steadfastness and staunchness ,
Because if others can succeed , you can soar.

When the road turns rough ,
The strong-hearted will keep pressing ,
For when the going gets tough ,
The tough must get going.

Nothing materializes without assiduities ,
As triumph rests in the hands of the unbending ,
Go forth in life surpassing all boundaries ,
Falter not for victory is pending.

My Blog SCrewed up ! ^-^

2008-02-12T03:09:00.000-08:00

I was lookin for nice templates and copied a set of codes head on , and KABOOM ! Crashed=).
Will fix it later , now I giv my all to my mid term .

For my own reminder purposes. ~_~

2008-02-10T20:40:00.000-08:00

Advanced English fdeng002 Saturday 16 FeB 1.30-3.30 level 9 2 hours

Microeconomics fdmic001 Saturday 4.30 -6.00 level 7 1.5 hours

Accounting fdact001 Saturday 23rd Feb 4.00- 6.00 level 6 2 hours

Crit Thinking Skills fdcts001 Friday 29 Feb 2.30 - 4.00 level 9 1.5 hours

English Research Paper - addiction (games/ drugs/alcohol/gambling)
Microeconomics Presentation , Report, Send Group Member lists Tonight. ( sended)
CtS Text book revision
English Preparation.
Accounting and CTS Next week.
CTS Group presentation - pollution

Monday - Wednesday all about econs. do everything.
Thursday Friday All about english.
micro notes compilation update.

Download shana season2 episode 17
zombieloan http://www.animepaper.net/ - check wallies
code geass season 2
shounen omyouji
rosary+vampire
true tears

create gunbound account tehping47 +1 , add zheng28 , helen,nakky, kalgame, charblah04 , luce, Jess, sammy : tehping 45,44,43 ,42= 75 k+ gold , Napoleon set 35+45 = 80k gold
dota 6.50b change log. - armlet of mordegian for Huskar, silencer dagger -> shiva
Warbook -> wait 4 days , check slayer status soon.
warbook dlanoroow01,02,03,04,05,06,08,09,10,11,12,13,14,15,16 on hold
dlanoroow17 - mage level 50 *BeatMeBabeh*- kingdom name - 1400 acres 20k knights.
slayer current - 2,388,684 elites - Depreciating.

Japanese drama - ken -> uniten
songs -> cat new singer+ songs
take from ws utada & ayumi album , pass cd.
contact michael - k accessories.
ringtone- stay gold editing asap.

Memorable =)

2008-02-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

I m back . Tadaima ^-^. Chinese New Year in Penang is so darn quiet. I m able to drive around because the traffic is so darn light.

Went to Queensbay where there is this big big Jusco mall .
Went inside the Jusco to look at marsh mellows =).

Here are a few lists of reasons of why my CNY became so dull :

1. no internet - my small lil cousin baby bro just had his computer and there is no internet connection . omgawd - no internet = no blog , no warbook , no msn , no.. nothing ><

2.Stuck watching "FAce To FATE ". My grandfather has this swordfighting series in his DVD collection. LOL. And bored I am , and to see I went to try. This series dates back to some dynasty in ancient CHina . (obviously) . Its about good vs evil . I m sure CEO watches this show LOL. The main characters are the 2 guys : 1 is a fortune teller , and the other is a doctor. Their kungfu is is I repeat .. is Totally Godlike. In a way its too fake. Well , everytime when the so called " good vs evil " or "good vs good " or "evil vs evil " fights, they start the BATTLE SEQuence DIGIMON STYLE ! Man this is killing me. Beh tahan . Wtf man then they add the overrated graphics and sound effects .. haih .. if i were 10 years old i would say the movie is good la.. Haih ,, watching this series from 10 pm to 1 am... can u imagine my pain.. >< .

Which reminds me .. i got left out when i m supposed to watch clover field Last week.. fuck.. cant join ur friends sometimes is v depressing , now i cant watch that movie anymore because i gotta study for my mid term anyway fck it .. this movie aint give me any good in return anyway.

3. Not so perfect family reunion - my father's side is ok. But my mum's side ._. is kinda splitted up cuz of family problems. Just hate it because everytime i go back i hav to see family ties being severed and i cant do a fcking shit at all . I feel so small because i couldnt even do anything to cease the everlasting feuds.

4. LAst thing which pissed me off - my LIL COUSIN BRO - that cute chuppy boy actually plays dota. . now that he is in form 1 ( i have no idea how he install that game ) i cant believe it .. small kids playing dota. And here is where he pissed me off - just by looking at him playing (he doesnt knows how to open AI ) he just created the freaking map and open CHEAT 24/7 !@#$ wTF .. small kids playing dota again.. i have to bear the pain of watching him wandering aimlessly with GOD MODE on and he takes an hour to destroy the enemies freakin throne. Yes , with unlimited money and GODLY CHEAT. And when I kindly pointed out to him what item to buy he asks me to shut my hole ! WTF ... arrogant kids these days.. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Now that i m done with the chococraps and cheaps above , i m moving on to why my this Chinese New Year is a memorable 1 for me - 1 which i will never forget .

I wanna thank My cousin from my father's side (i got 7 cousins ), my older couz brother , Vincent , for sharing up with me parts and parcels of his life, experiences and feelings , he is 26 now and a successful man. I would say. I Deeply thank you Vincent korkor, from the bottom of my heart =x . I will never see things as the same ever again , as I have witnessed the harsh realities of your world and it moved me inside, by lots. Thx again for caring for me, thx for those advices and I m glad to be a listener and U will always be my admired Couz . Take care bro.

This one's good .

2008-02-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

The next application i tried was good. You guys should try it too . At least its accurate , and sensible , unlike the freakin dumb *Monica L* thing.

What's Your Rising Sign?

***Your Rising Sign is Pisces***

Dreaming and introspective, you're often lost in your thoughts.Which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome.

And while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure.People often handle you more delicately than they need to.

You love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich."Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

What's Your Rising Sign?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourrisingsignquiz/

Who the heck is she ?

2008-02-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

I m perplexed . Its Monday morning at 1.18 am and i m supposed to study accounting for my quiz. But due to my curiosity i explored the site which Joyce put the link there and i found this.

What's Your True Love's Name?

ok so that caught my attention. And within miliseconds i filled my name in the box and clicked "Submit".

To my horror , i saw this :

***Your True Love's Name Is***

Monica L.

What's Your True Love's Name?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourtruelovesnamequiz/

Man... who the hell is this omfg-wtf-bbq girl.. monica L? Monica L .. certainly doesnt ring a bell in my head. CAnt believe i kena con by the stupid site ... never gonna visit it anymore. Hmph !

Is this some kind of joke ?

2008-02-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

What The !?!!? Are U serious ! ?

***What Ronald Woo Wai Kit Means***
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

My Food Dislikes And Favs

2008-01-31T00:28:00.000-08:00

Its about time i reveal about my Food For Thought Hah ! :

My Favs :
Fried oysters - i love those oysters from penang so Hiong ! ^-^
Siu Yok - Crispy pork . Love those from Ipoh , and Penang as well.
Fried rice - mm . nyummy
Fatty crab ( Taman Megah ) - one of my fav dishes i like the sweet , sour and spicy sauce.
Chicken rice , duck rice whatever rice lah ! - anything rice is ok for me - i m rice bin. Of course the dish must be nice la. not any restaurant or stall can easily get my THumbS up !
Ramli Burger , SS2 , - Ocassionally burgers just came into my menu, this 1 is not bad.
steamed fish - TauTai , or sek pan .
fried fish - with black soya sauce .
taufu , those soft soft and heavenly taufus ! ( the restaurant ones)
Any egg dishes , omeletes =x
Herbal soups are ok , as long as not too many herbs , prefer them have a stronger meat taste then herbs .
5 fruits : papaya , banana , pear , watermelon , honeydew.
Asam prawns - i simply cant resist my mum's home made asam prawns , sweet and delicious !
Fried Sotong - mm fried , as usual .
Dim sum - *drools*
Sushi ! - No need to explain.
Barbequed marshmallows - They are so creammy , softylicious and melts and taste like heaven.
I tink thats all i can tink of now . might add more soon.

Okaii ! Lets see my NONO foods :
Beef dishes - i cant eat beef . for some reason cant swallow them , will vomit if consumed.
Porridge - i hate eating porridge because , i onli eat them when i m sick , and i had to chew porridge even though its plain . Means i ll eat porridge slower then my rice . And , porridges are hot and never seems to cool down . Did i mention my affinity with ice and cold things ?
All the fruits in the world except those 5 mentioned above .
Complex veges like - long beans , ladies fingers , tomato , chilies (duh ! ), peria , and some other veges . I think i consume like 10% of the vege dishes on the menu.
Any food with vinegar inside - Just cant stand vinegar.
Kerabu - dont know how my mum can be so addicted to jelly fish kerabu. They are spicy too .
Tomyam - oh damn , this 1 is hell , i ll sweat out more soup then i can take in . Eating this will result in drinking 3 x the water to rejuvenate my body dehydration.
Potato - i onli eat potato from kFC , yes the mashed ones. And What you dont EAT macdonald's fries ? yup correct . i m not into french fries . The other potato dishes i wont touch at all .
Bitter Gourd - No way no way I dont like ur Gourd Friend ! No way No way I think u need a new 1 !
Soup noodles - yeah , i m not into noodles .
Pig intestines - i cant swallow those either .
hm. DAmn . Lost my appetite writting this craps . Haha i ll add more when they come to my head !

The other side.

2008-01-30T02:03:00.001-08:00

I m completely dumbfounded . I just dont get it . Why am I so into games ? Why am I so overly serious when it comes to games ? Why cant I get rid of that attitude of being ignorant towards those important stones in my life , or to say a normal person's life ? Why cant I even being bothered with getting lousy grades ? Why ? Why do I even have this so called minor teenage problems in the 1st place ? I wish I knew the answer.

I m definitely not at my limit right now , but I m a little afraid . Using microeconomics to keep me afloat from my gaming thoughts. But I m really scared. Its working , but not in the way I think it should .

Yesterday , touching the keyboard at night led me into 8 hours of gaming , till 4 am in the morning. I dont know why . I cant seem to stop . Played 240 rounds in 1 night . The hunger is devouring me from inside. And so it began again , my routine last sem , playing games into the wee hours of dawn and sleeping in classes . Although I did studied more, I played more as well .
Whenever i think of it , i felt totally wrong and lost . Although i can just feel happy about it , i know i m not going to be ok in the long run . Stopping my gaming is impossible either , its gonna add problems instead of solvin them . To most of u all , ^-^ gaming sounds like enjoyment , and only effects the weak minded and people with weak will power like me . But when I crave for the games , adrenalin is only a small portion of the enjoyment , what I enjoy most is the company of friends from all around the world =x . Au , Cn , Sg , Indo , Ph , US , u named it =x . I really have a weak weak will power =x . Low self esteem lol.

Today .

2008-01-29T00:06:00.001-08:00

I learned something new today . That life wasnt all about making choices , living the choices made , or even causes and effect whatsoever. I learned that perhaps the most important thing after making a decision is to choose , yes , to choose whether you feel happy or sad about it.
Hasty decisions , bad outcome, calamities befall , totally screwed up . . so ? No matter how bad the situation is , the most important thing is to choose to either be sad , regretful or choose to be happy and appreciate things around you. And I chose to be happy.

Met Roy today while revising micro. Was chatting about the Cloverfield movie at first , then somehow we strayed into psycological ( dont know whether i spelt it right ) topics. Being inquisitive , I then started to ask him questions regarding the human mind , and he happily explained them . I wont say that he is persuasive but i m starting to like physcology a little . I wanna talk less cock , less crap and think more. I wanna know how people works , and above all , how my weak mind thinks and how i can control and contain my emotions . I wanna uncover the truth by myself . Perhaps next sem , I might take this interesting subject.

Eh , why am i thinking so far again ? this sem has just started and i start to project so many thoughts . Accounting homework left untouched , critical thinking skills ignored , and English unpracticed . Better get some rest and do bits of them later . Chill ouT. xD

Reason. Realize. Resume. Reinforce.

2008-01-26T05:08:00.001-08:00

I realized that :

I cant change myself , but I can change my ways.

I cant afford to waste time. I have many things to do in this world.

I cant bend the rules now , but I will learn the way people works before I try to change things next time.

I cant think like the same old me anymore.

I need to move on.

My ThoughtS II

2008-01-26T04:41:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking alot about it lately. Something some 1 said stirred my mind and I cant help thinking about it . I ll just share that with you all . =x

Ronald ,

Your time is limited in this world , so , don't waste it living someone else's life.

Are you trapped ? Why are you living the results of other people's thinking ? You are you.

Why do you let the noise of other's opinions drown out your TruE , InnER VoicE ?

And most importantly ,

Have the courage to follow your HearT and IntuitioN - they somehow already know what you truly want to become . Everything else is secondary.

"HumminOKE"

2008-01-26T01:03:00.000-08:00

Karaoke session was enjoyable. But something's wrong with my voice today as well as my stomach. My voice was coarse like normal at first , but after getting some stomach pains from duno what food i ate my voice turned to a sissy . Wtf man. SISSSSSYYYYY LIKE voice . I tried to readjust my own voice but it became worst - more sissy like. UP TOWN GIRLS ! became like Upah Tiown Gerrss . Siao Siao de . And whats more . . when i went to college today .. grrr dah la lambat .. kena more stomach pain. At the end of the class . . i gave in to the pains again. CAnnot tahan la . . Sikap ni. Feel like kena cheated . . i went to help , pay 3 bucks just to use the toilet. zzzzzz. Come to think of it maybe i know why i kena stomach pain ad . Maybe first it is because i didnt eat anything for breakfast, then then i drank iced tea, then eaten some frozen crab meat and the the lemon pepsi ! Adoi ... watashiwa baka desu ne . In the end i think what i did wasnt realli karaoke-ing but humming = Humminoke ! Besides , I just realized how fast time flies. Yeah , just as fast as Ceo's barbaric voices filling up the entire room . With a deafening roar and vigorous spirit he easily takes out other contestants and dominated them like never before. Ceo , WAy to Go for You ! & on the other hand , SHamE on YOu , Vikings . Anywayz cherishable , glorious and enjoyable moments like these are too short to be true ,and hopefully we are able to experience them more often in the future. ^-^ Peace out.

I gotta go toilet again ARGH ! Be rite back =(

I made up my mind.

2008-01-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

I wanna be a GE . I ll just concentrate everything I have on this goal of mine. Let the test & fun begins !

Que Sera Sera ?

2008-01-24T00:53:00.001-08:00

College is good. Helps to divert my attention . I din know that kena this thing also can affect me so teruk . . . I m realli a weak minded guy after all .
THose who read this pls dont luan luan guess please =) thx.

Just found out a few things after going through it :
1. Feels just like being sucked into a black hole . There is no ending to its spiral ,dark and mysterious twirls.
2. Next, all you feel is that ur lacking of oxygen , lungs pulling you from within. You feel like throwing out but you cant , and your brain cant seem to function properly.
3. Unable to stand the pain anymore , you tried to find your way out by turning back . But to much dismay , the portal warped itself into another dimension.
4. Isolated , despised , and wounded what are you going to do ?
5. 2 choices : Accept or Fight against it.
6. Yeah i selected option B ( Fight !) . And hell , i realized that there is no way i could win. Never.
7. So what now ? Onli 1 option left to be taken : ACcepT REaLiTY and Que Sera Sera xD ^-^

Lessons To be learned :
1. Never keep your feelings to yourself . You should share them around with your friends so u can disperse all the stuff and minimize stress levels. Good.
2. When u laugh , the world laughs with u , when u cry , u cry alone . Check .
3. When You have feelings even a little next time, say it straight so that u wont come to a situation like this , so damn suffering and u cant do shyt , cant even sleep , cant even eat , and worst of all almost kena accident.
4. When u kena this thing, your mind will be clouded by some kind of drug and you wont be able to know what u are saying. So , when u think u're going to kena it get prepared . Treat it like a nuclear holocaust.Stock up lots of anti depression pills and sleeping pills as well.
5. CEO is a good anti depressant item .Yeah , thx for lightening up my day today , even by a lil bit . Wanna say thx u . Ceooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. LOL.

I guess thats it le. First time kena this but , nvm la i get some exp in return , next time wont kena again i vow. Too much for me to handle. And too early. BLEAGH !

- Slowly -

2008-01-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight is a new beginning for me . Not only did I lost my interest in games ; I am giving up on them . Its painful at first , but I plan to take things on slowly . one at a time . Thats right - SloWLy. Its weird , I dont feel like myself 5-6 years ago. Maybe I m too used to being a spoiled child, giving stupid reasons and excuses and in the end making my own life miserable. Kinda sad isnt it ? Being a spoiled brat for 6 years. I wanna just say it here - I m truly sorry , Mom and Dad , sorry for sleeping all this while. Now that I have woken up , I wont dissappoint those who put their hopes into me , ever again.

Felt better by lots now. The depression seems to be gone for now . And my mind is less cloudy then it is before. I mma take a shower and continue my work .

Painful - kurushii ne.

2008-01-22T00:11:00.001-08:00

Studying alone in college aint that easy after all .I dont know why studying has become so painful suddenly. I m having depression and there is many things going on in my mind. I m unable to sleep , and every morning I woke up I wonder whether am I still the old me. Feeling a little afraid and lost again I cant sense which direction I m moving in. Each step i took brought me closer n closer to my breakin point. I cant continue on like this . I cant take a step back either .
3 days of college and U already feel like giving up ? WTf ronald , ur such a dumb ass . . you should really quit college if you dont plan to fcking study .
Ouch .

Reflectia by (Eufonius)

2008-01-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

nijiro no gairo ni
musuuno kotoba tachi
hanbun dake demo
kokonaraba susunde yukeru
totsuzen no melody
mata kasoku shiteyuku
kokoro wa tsukanda hitohira no kagemo keshizaru
mamozashi KIRA KIRA
amari ookikunai michidemoiine
soshite kakedasu tobikomu kiseki e
miageru teofuru hikari e
tomaranai kimochi o tsunaideyuku
RiFuRekuTia
Yurameku chikazuku ashita e
kagaderu yumemiru mirai e
masana na sora dokomademo tsurete
namidano owari aizuni

On the rainbow colored road ,
those endless words..
Although it's just a little bit ,
As long as they're there , i can move forward,
The melody that suddenly appeared ,
made my heart beat faster again,
I cant get rid of that shadow in my heart at all,
your eyes are sparkling,
the road isnt very wide , but that's fine
So i'll go toward that miracle
I'll look up and grab that light
I grab hold of those feelings that won't stop
ReflecTed TearS.
Confused , I look towards tommorow.
Toward the future dreams I see ...
Toward the corners of that new sky ,
Where our tears end.

8 Things

2008-01-18T07:33:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Joyce.

8 Random facts about me:
1. I sleep approx 4.5 hours perday.
2. I m a male.
3. most of the time I hate myself more then i hate other people.
4. i onli cut my nails when they're restricting my movements on my keyboard.
5. when it comes to food , i m fussy & choosy to the max.
6. i really enjoy dotaing, gunbounding, warbooking , colleging and even spending time with my dear friends .
7.i m bad in lying , and i m easily addicted to something
8. my specs keep dropping down so i need to push them up every few minutes :x

8 things that scares me:
1. goddamn milipedes
2. freaking centipedes.
3. flying cockroaches.
4. being alone in a dark , creepy night by the cemetery.
5. girls ,apparently.
6. Arnold Swazzernagger .
7. unable to wake up from a nightmare .
8.heights

-8 Favorite Music Artists at the moment:
1. Ferry Costern
2. ATB .
3.Utada Hikaru
4. DJ Illusionx
5. DoAsInfinity
6. colbie caillat
7. FayRAy.
8.ZombieLoan OST

8 Things I like most:
1. trico.
2.witch doctor (dota hero ) - t.t i know its weak but.. >.> the onli hero i can properly use
3. seeing money increasing in my warbook accounts everyday
4.being able to become friends with feifei,honghong,joyjoy,yongyong & yanyan
5.my childhood memories
6.day dream or perhaps , a sweet dream when sleeping ._.
7.a part of myself where i am giving , tolerant & happy-go-lucky
8. All the good food in the world which suits my taste . HeHE i never seem to grow fat ^-^

ne ways > check this out if u have time ^-^ http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shii

Wednesday ,12.04 am January 16th 2008

2008-01-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting Microeconomics Accounting

InToxiCateD LeveL 1 !!!!

2008-01-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

Yeahhh !!! Today 2 very important things occured and they made me very happy : 1. When Ceo was driving both of us back today , it actually rains ! . I was like HAHA Ceo now UR theories wont work on me & now its raining because u sang in the car !! LOL . . . .Yess ( please dont view me as pesakit mental ok ) 2 . I passed my moral ! wohoooooo !!!!! the feeling is totally superb ! What i would expected of is a fail but NOTTTT in fact , i got a P and P means Perfect ! AW damn , i failed to bluff u all =x P is actually pass la. . LOL .. and my fellow college mates , hope u guys pass moral too xD

Trance ! Subarashii ne!

2008-01-10T07:53:00.000-08:00

Currently indulged inside the world of trance . Downloaded over 700 trance music using the Ares downloader. Too bad that for every 100 I listened to , i only keep and fav 1-2 tracks . What a waste .. LoL ~ I ll update new music here every day , so u guys might wanna listen > they are kinda cool ^^ xD

MusiC On ! ._.

2008-01-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

Been listening to trance & techno pieces lately =x . My aphorism for this sem xD : " To not prepare is the greatest of crimes; to be prepared beforehand for any contingency is the greatest of virtues " - Sun Tzu -

In a way its saying that "the battle is won before the war even started" . I think I am already applying bits of it in Dota & Gunbound =x. Might as well use it for my studies .^^ heh .